Highlights from 36 hours of the internet dunking on #FledCruz and his attempt to flee frozen Texas for a Cancún getaway. Presented by Sprite.
Editor’s Note: I originally planned to launch Fill Your Inbox on February 26 with what would become a regular Friday digest. That was before the Texas Snowpocalypse came to town.
You can thank the ineptitude of Texas leadership (and the hard work of those who braved the cold to get power back up and running) for this preview edition, with more to come as I unpack both snow and all of the thoughts on what went down this week.
The last few days down here in Texas have sucked, as you can imagine (or experienced first-hand). Those of us who at least have power or running water feel fortunate, but we’re all still reeling and waiting to see what damage lurks under the remaining inches of snow and ice.
Amidst the icy turd that Punxsutawney Phil dropped and the ensuing chaos that followed, the internet’s response to Ted Cruz’s ill-fated run for the border helped warm my heart and, in some perverse way, restored some faith in humanity.
These are my picks for the Finals of the latest Ted Cruz Dunk Contest. Who gets your vote?
Cruz’s Wednesday night escape was captured by citizen journalists at the airport almost immediately, ensuring that Twitter would wake up with the topic trending while Ted was still trying to figure out if the business class upgrade on his hastily-booked return flight went through:
Kevin M. Kruse @KevinMKruseAm I too late to trademark "Ted Cruz Cancun cancel culture" or has Fox News already used it?
February 18th 2021100 Retweets1,573 Likes
Matt Fuller @MEPFuller@KevinMKruse Cancuncel Culture
February 18th 202190 Retweets1,004 Likes
blaire erskine @blaireerskineStatement from Director of Communications for Sen. Ted Cruz
February 18th 202111,726 Retweets63,639 Likes
Chasten Glezman Buttigieg @ChastenIf you like piña coladas and getting caught on a plane
February 18th 202122,508 Retweets231,563 Likes
Dave Itzkoff @ditzkoff
February 18th 20214,227 Retweets31,619 Likes
Sarah Lazarus @sarahclazarusimagine boarding a flight to cancun and before you take off you get to send a few texts and ruin ted cruz’s life. a dream vacation
February 18th 20219,710 Retweets147,490 Likes
Benjamin Cox @BenjaminGCox@hunterwalk
February 18th 20212 Likes
Pete Freedman @PeteFreedman"AYO THIS MOTHERFUCKER FLEW TO CANCUN IN A PANDEMIC WHILE THE ENTIRE STATE HE'S SUPPOSED TO REPRESENT WAS FREEZING TO DEATH, SUFFERING EXTENDED ELECTRICAL BLACKOUTS, FACING WATER-BOIL NOTICES, FIGHTING FOOD SCARCITY AND JUST GENERALLY FAILING ON EVERY BASIC GOVERNMENTAL LEVEL"
February 18th 20218,475 Retweets27,176 Likes
Keaton Patti @KeatonPattiwtf was this statement????
February 18th 202112,724 Retweets97,275 Likes
Things picked up after Ted was captured slinking through airport security on Thursday morning with a bag that just screamed “quick trip, I’m only here for the one night”:
Fortunately, the internet meme grid is a far more modern operation than the Texas energy grid and responded to the situation swiftly:
👨🏻💻☕️ @hunterwalkCANCUN CRUZ w background removed meme-ready
corinne_perkins @corinne_perkinsSenator Ted Cruz carries his luggage at the Cancun International Airport before boarding his plane back to the U.S., in Cancun, Mexico. Photo by Stringer https://t.co/KKDtldAXoE
February 18th 2021339 Retweets1,857 Likes
Matt Haughey @mathowiethis is fine dot gif
February 18th 202165 Retweets353 Likes
Faruk Brbovic 💡 @darkgaro@hunterwalk
February 18th 20211 Retweet2 Likes
February 18th 20212 Retweets24 Likes
February 18th 20212 Retweets6 Likes
Karthik Ram @_inundata@hunterwalk Wes Anderson would be deeply disappointed by his luggage.
February 18th 202114 Likes
The Savanna Lady @TheSavannaLadyI have so much work to do and should go to sleep but instead I am just making Ted Cruz memes.
February 18th 202111 Retweets65 Likes
Hunter Pearson @JHunterPearson@hunterwalk
February 18th 202110 Retweets63 Likes
Brian Kahn @blkahnWho did this?
February 18th 2021616 Retweets4,747 Likes
FWIW, The Daily Mail has even more, for those of you who can’t get enough of #CancunCruz.
Once Ted was on the ground, the absurdity of the spin cycle began:
Geoff Bennett @GeoffRBennettSen. Ted Cruz in a new statement attributes his Cancun trip to “wanting to be a good dad” to his girls — while Texans were without heat, water and power.
February 18th 2021410 Retweets1,469 Likes
Peter Alexander @PeterAlexanderNEW: Ted Cruz booked his return ticket from Cancun to Texas at 6 a.m. today, according to a source with knowledge of the situation. Cruz was initially booked to return on Saturday.
February 18th 202119,144 Retweets96,144 Likes
Andrew Solender @AndrewSolenderTed Cruz: "The plan had been to stay through the weekend with the family." Says he had "second thoughts" almost as soon as he sat down on the plane.
February 18th 2021269 Retweets993 Likes
Jim Maiella @jimmaiellaHannity softer than a My Pillow on Ted Cruz. “You went and you took your daughters to Cancun and you came back. I think you can be a father, and be the senator of Texas, all at the same time, and make a round-trip, quick, drop-off trip and come home.” “Well, Sean, that’s right.”
February 18th 20215 Retweets20 Likes
He can retroactively change his story, hide behind Hannity, don a Patagonia dad jacket, and blame his daughters, but cutting and running doesn’t play in Texas. Expect a lot more of this to follow the Coward Ted Cruz wherever he may roam:
Wu-Tang Is For The Children @WUTangKidsThe protesters chanting “resign” while Ted Cruz is giving a pathetic answer are heroes
February 18th 202153 Retweets239 Likes
Parker Sewell @parkersewell1Probably not a great sign for Ted Cruz when my dad, a Ted Cruz voter, is also mocking him with memes
February 19th 20218 Likes
I’ll close with this performance art piece that perfectly depicts the fate of Ted Cruz’s Presidential ambitions after this week:
Koro @nonsmoknlifboat@RexChapman @tedcruz flashback: Ted Cruz in a miserable dunk fail
June 15th 202047 Retweets237 Likes
From all of us down here in Texas (and a vast majority of Americans across the country): GTFO, you Calgary Clown.
This is a preview edition of FYI with Kyle Bunch. You are receiving this as part of your reward for being the earliest of early adopters. The football phone should arrive in 4-6 weeks.